Grandma Visits Us in America – Bà Nội Du Lịch Mỹ

The day has come, I thought to myself, today is the day when grandma would arrive at the airport to visit us for a year or so.

It was June 28, 2002. I was then twelve years old, my brothers and I woke up very early that day, we woke up at nine (for us that is very early in the summer). We had to eat breakfast, sort the beds and clean up because we had to leave for Washington Dulles International Airport around noon. I was very excited to see my grandma again, it has been almost three years since I last visited Vietnam and saw her.  I made my bed and cleaned my room thinking if she would recognize me, if she had changed, if the plane would be on time, if Bác Tâm (my dad’s friend who would be responsible to escort her over) would bring the right woman!  Questions raced through my mind and I was very, very nervous.  Mom’s voice calling me to go eat suddenly interrupted my thoughts.  I raced downstairs with my two brothers and called dibbs on my seat.  I think we had “phở” that day. I was too nervous to eat so I raced through the meal very quickly and ran upstairs to change.

We left around noon and came to the airport.  Thomas, my littlest brother was always excited to go to the airport to see planes.  We entered through the gates and lobbies, pasted a bazillion people and sat at the gate.  We waited, waited and waited… My dad took pictures of us on every single pose to kill time.  Mom was reading a magazine.  Thomas was playing with a toy he brought along.  Jonathan, my other brother, was walking around looking for something to buy to eat, AS ALWAYS!  I was making sure I looked perfect and went to the bathroom every ten minutes.  It seemed forever!  But finally the speakers came on announcing the flight landing.  Then the gates opened.  Another bazillion people came out.  Dad had the camera aiming at the perfect gate at the perfect spot when they would perfectly enter through it to take the perfect picture of grandma when she walked in.  It seemed like everybody had already got off because we saw the pilot and co–pilot leave.  It seemed like hours before my dad saw Bác Tâm.  Bác Tâm came out with piles upon piles of suitcases and out came his wife following and at last grandma came through the gates.  I thought to myself, finally!  We took like a hundred pictures, said hello and thank-you to Bác Tâm and left.

[Picture – At the airport: Mom, Jonathan, me (Margaret),

Grandma, Thomas, Bác Tâm, his wife & daughter] 

As soon as we exited the main doors and walked towards the parking lot, the questions erupted. Now, I thought to myself, I know when I visited Vietnam I had a gazillion questions like why the neighbor’s cow is always starring at us or why do men who drive motorcycles stop and whizzed wherever and whenever they wanted.  So, I kind of understood why grandma had so many questions about every little detail.  She asked about busses and taxis and why buildings are so big and how come everyone is driving an automobile and not a bike like in Vietnam, and she asked about white people and black people and Hispanics, she asked about how the roads where so clean, I thought that was kind of a crazy question until I remembered that they have dirt roads back there. She asked about hot dog stands and plants and how houses are so big and why it’s called a WHITE House and how the tallest thing in America is in the shape of a pencil (Washington Monument) and why Americans are so enormously fat. SHE ASKED ABOUT EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING. It got kind of annoying but I do understand because now that I think back I had some stupid questions like why are chickens tied on to motorcycle and why we throw bones (chicken, beef, pork, fish, etc.) under the table for the dogs (that seriously scared me the first time I threw a bone).

When we got home, grandma was sleeping in Jonathan’s room because she did not want to sleep in a separate bedroom by herself. She rested and unpacked. She had gifts for everyone, from “áo dài” to jewelry to toys to hair accessories and food (it’s not like we have enough over here already). She brought over so much dried bamboo that every time mom makes Bún Măng, I ate Mì Gói because I was so sick of Măng… We still have some even now (it’s been two years for the love of God)!  Anyways back to unpacking, I tried on every single áo dài and we ate Măng for a month… oh… my… gosh! I thought to myself, I thought I was going to die!  About a week later I asked grandma to move over to my room. That night, something woke me up. It was a bright light… I thought to myself… oh my gosh I’m dead, I’m in heaven… but when my site came into focus I saw grandma kneeling and then I heard…AMEN! Grandma was praying… it was twelve.  So I thought OK it’s probably jet lagging.  So I fell back to sleep.  But then something woke me up; again, I opened my eyes and saw a bright light again.  I thought to myself oh my gosh the heaven gates have opened but then heard… Hail Mary full of grace… it was grandma, I thought because she was too nervous to sleep so she prayed and ask God to help her to sleep.  Now usually I’m a very deep sleeper… but that night I guess I was too excited to share a room with grandma that I was hardly sleeping. I found grandma sleeping on the floor the next morning. My first reaction was that I think I might have kicked her (I do that…A LOT!). When she woke up I asked her why she was sleeping on the floor. She said that the bed was hot and she wasn’t used to sleeping on a mattress.  I thought grandma was insane, who turns down a mattress?! But I remembered that grandma slept on a wooden bed back home with no mattress.  Each morning grandma woke up around three or four… IN THE MORNING!  I would wake up around noon but made an effort to wake up early to walk with grandma, and then sit with her in the hammock while she eats breakfast. I soon learned that grandma fasts. She only eats one meal a day… lunch. She did this every Wednesday and Friday.

[Picture – At the Vietnamese Church: Mom, Dad, Thomas, Grandma, me (Margaret),

Jonathan and Father Minh (also from Vietnam – Nhân Hòa)]

In July of that year we went to Ocean City. Grandma complimented how clean the beaches were unlike Vũng Tàu and how the water is so clean you can actually see your footsteps under water. My brothers, grandma and I built sand castles, caught sand crabs and took long strolls in the mornings and after dinner. One afternoon, while swimming, grandma caught a small crab, a real crab not a sand crab! We placed it in the bucket for Thomas to admire. The waves were truly intense that week we stayed. Grandma held onto my arms while tiptoeing out to the water, she stopped when it reached her waist and started scooping up water to herself like she was rinsing herself. Then a humungous wave came.  I screamed my lungs out because grandma was squeezing my arm so hard that my veins could pop out. We were both really scared! The wave hit us and the next thing I knew when I opened my eyes was that I was underwater and grandma was washed onto me. After a week of being tanned we returned home.

August came and school started in the last week of it. I was in a catholic school, seventh grade. I had to move grandma back to Jonathan’s room because I couldn’t keep up with the praying at twelve and three in the morning.

October, HALLOWEEN! Out of all the things that could be possible confusing to her, she was most confused about this. Dad tried to explain Halloween and how children dressed up in costumes and go door-to-door and ‘ask’ for candy. He used a simile, Halloween is like Tết only instead of money you get candy and instead of dragons you dress up as goblins ghouls, witches, monsters, and ghosts. We invited grandma to come along but she insisted that she stay for it was prayer time. Grandma is no nun but if she was how many times will she pray then?

November, Thanksgiving. We ate at a buffet for Thanksgiving. Grandma was in wonder and awe when she saw how much food there was, from rice to noodles to vegetables to dessert and fish and seafood to fruits and pudding and cake and pizza.

[Picture – At the restaurant: Me (Margaret),

Jonathan, Grandma, Thomas, Mon & Dad)] 

It was in December. Grandma couldn’t stand the cold and wants to go back home, it had only been approximately five months. Grandma saw pictures and heard stories about snow but never seen it for herself. Snow to her was like a legend. It was December and in about a three week she was leave to go back to Vietnam and dad would escort her back. She prayed each night ten times more for snow because it had been midwinter and no snow had fallen. Then when all was to give up hope, December fifth, a day of miracles. It snowed and snowed and snowed, not just one inch, not two inches, not one foot but 3 feet! We spent the whole day outside making snowball. Grandma was so excited that she was about to run out without a boot. She touched the snow and almost cried because she never seen it before, it was like a step towards heaven to her. She begged us to help her take some home for her friends in Vietnam to see but we explained how it would melt by then.

[Picture – First Snow for Grandma in front of our house] 

Mid- December, it was time to leave. Grandma packed and so did Dad, from clothes to gifts to medicine to candies and other types of food. Dad and Grandma had to drive to the airport twelve hours before boarding because it was icing outside. Roads would be iced by tomorrow morning so they left the night before. We said our good byes, got the pictures to show Vietnam and watched as they back out the driveway.

Even though grandma asked bizarre questions at times, prayed constantly, went to church everyday, and could be sometimes irritating, I couldn’t help but miss her. I hope one day again she would come over again for an actual year or we visit Vietnam again.

– Lan, 14, daughter of Nguyễn Duy-An